Are you the black sheep of your family?
When you hear the term the black sheep of the family, it's insinuated that you are different, not normal or that something is wrong with you. Essentially being the black sheep means you do not fit in or feel like you belong among the group or family surrounding you.
Have you ever been called or felt like you are you the black sheep of your family?
I have. In fact, when I was younger my brothers used to tell me I was adopted. Even as an adult they proclaimed how fitting it was that I owned a black sheep instead of a white one on my small little plot of land.
I know they were joking. I laughed it off. But when you uncover the layers, there's also grief, hurt and rejection.
As a black sheep myself, I spent much of my life feeling like I didn't fit in. In fact, I believed there was wrong with me. That I was broken. I thought everyone around me had it "together" and was normal. All I ever wanted to do was to feel loved unconditionally and accepted for who I truly was, instead of the person I portrayed I was due to expectations.
That's essentially what each human being desires. To feel loved unconditionally and accepted for who they truly are.
Because of my past experiences, I severely distrusted myself, my opinions, beliefs, but especially who I wanted to be.... the things I liked, the things I thought were true. So I stayed small. Believing I didn't have the power to change anything.
What I didn't realize is that the black sheep enter into the family lineage to heal intergenerational trauma, pain and suffering that had been passed down through the bloodline.You came here to break and destroy cycles, patterns and behaviors, fears and limitations and illusions that have carried forth for centuries - generations.
You came to alter the world and the future for your children and grandchildren. To be curious, to question, to explore what the actual truth is vs simply doing and living by what you know or have been taught.
You have a BIG purpose.
You are the medicine of your lineage.
Signs you might be the black sheep of the family:
You feel like you don't fit in
You have been told your too sensitive
Being around family leaves you feeling unsafe and uncomfortable
You don't feel like you can fully be yourself around your family (or others)
Family makes fun of you in a way that hurts
You feel misunderstood
You don't have much in common with other family members
You might feel unloveable, unworthy, or not good enough,
You feel rejected by your family
Desire to break the rules and be a rebel
You yearn to break free from control and what you're "supposed to" or "should do"
Feel like you need to disconnect from your family in order to take care of yourself and honor your needs and boundaries
Deep desire to break free from the conditioning, the illusions and discover and live the truth
You came here to create a new world. A healthier family system.
You are the liberators. The cycle breakers. The healers of your lineage.
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PS: This is one of the best perspectives of the black sheep I have ever heard by Bert Hellinger. Thanks Nick Werber for posting on TikTok
“The So-called ‘Black Sheep’ of the family are, in fact, seekers of liberation roads for the family tree. Those members of the tree who do not adapt to the rules or traditions of the family system, those who were constantly seeking to revolutionize beliefs, going in contrast to roads marked by family traditions, those criticized, tried and even rejected, those, by General, they are called to release the tree of repetitive stories that frustrate entire generations.
The ‘Black Sheep’, those who do not adapt, those who scream rebel, repair, detoxify and create a new and blooming branch… countless unfulfilled desires, unfulfilled dreams, frustrated talents of our ancestors manifest themselves in their rebellion looking to take place .
The family tree, by inertia, will want to continue to maintain the castrating and toxic course of its trunk, which makes its task difficult and conflicting… that no one makes you doubt, take care of your ‘rarity’ as the most precious flower of Your Tree.
You are the dream of all your ancestors” ~ Bert Hellinger
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